Choosing Compassion in a Divided World

Barbara Elvidge
Feb 3
4 min read

The world feels heavy right now. Between the headlines and social media debates I see so much so much hatred and divisiveness. I find myself alternating between feelings of anger, fear, and deep sadness—then retreating into denial, like an ostrich sticking my head in the sand, trying to protect myself and carry on with gratitude and positivity. But both of these extremes feel disconnected and inauthentic. I’ve been struggling with this tension, trying to figure out what aligns with my true self.

Then, yesterday, I listened to a podcast that brought so much clarity.

This keeps happening lately—where I wrestle with something, letting it percolate in the background without forcing a solution, and then, suddenly, the right message appears. A book, a conversation, a podcast—it’s like the universe is sending me signs.

The episode that resonated with me was from 10% Happier with Dan Harris, featuring Tara Brach: A Counterintuitive Strategy for Navigating Tumultuous Times. I’ve linked the podcast on my website under Free Resources, but here are some parts of the discussion that spoke to me the most:

Behind Anger, There is Always Compassion

In these challenging times, many of us feel anger. But beneath anger is fear. Beneath fear is grief. And beneath grief is compassion.

That truth struck me. When I dig deep, I always come back to compassion. And I realize that compassion feels so much stronger, so much more right than anger, fear, grief, or denial.

RAIN: A Practice of Radical Compassion

Tara Brach shared a simple but powerful mindfulness tool called RAIN, which puts into words what I have already been trying to practice:

Recognize what is happening
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is
Investigate with curiosity and care
Nurture with self-compassion

This practice has been a game-changer in helping me sit with my emotions rather than resisting them.

Beyond Mindfulness: Taking Intentional Action

The podcast also explored the Four Immeasurables in Buddhist practice:

Self-Awareness – Noticing your thoughts without getting caught up in them.
Compassion – Meeting suffering with kindness rather than resistance.
Loving-Kindness – Actively cultivating goodwill toward yourself and others.
Intentional Action – Taking action rooted in wisdom, not just awareness.

The first three I was familiar with and have been practicing, but the fourth step—intentional action—was newer to me. Mindfulness is important, but real change happens when we pair awareness with action.

This is why I created my website. Even if I never get a single paying client, I know that putting myself out there to help others is an action. And in the process, I’m growing into my most authentic self.

Compassion in the Face of Division

One part of the podcast that really struck me was Tara Brach’s story about someone she knew—someone she found to be kind and generous, yet whose political beliefs were vastly different from hers. She made a conscious decision not to argue with him, but instead to meet him with compassion.

At first, this idea felt counterintuitive. But then, I thought back to a situation a couple of years ago when I got into a heated debate with some casual friends over LGBTQ+ rights. I felt so overwhelmed and upset that I had to leave the room. I went into fight-or-flight mode and couldn’t think straight for many hours.

This moment has bothered me for years—not just because I feel so strongly about the issue, but because I didn’t know how to respond. I’ve always wished I could be like Jon Stewart, calmly and brilliantly dismantling arguments with facts, logic, and humor. But that’s not who I am.

What I am is compassionate. And suddenly, I realized—I should have responded with compassion. And curiosity.

I know what some of you might be thinking: Why should we extend compassion to people whose views are harmful? But hear me out.

Arguing often makes people dig deeper into their beliefs. It creates distance. It divides us. And the further away I am, the less influence I have. I can’t control what others think, but I can control how I respond.

And if I respond with compassion—without condoning what I wholeheartedly believe to be wrong—maybe, just maybe, I can reach people in a way that anger and arguments never could.

That doesn’t mean I’ll always get it right. But if I keep practicing self-awareness, compassion, loving-kindness, and intentional action, I know I’ll grow.

Three Powerful Lessons to Carry Forward

The podcast left me with three final takeaways that will help me stay on this path:

Everyone is carrying an invisible black bag. This bag is filled with past trauma, current struggles, and fears for the future. When I think about people who act from a place of hatred, I will remind myself—they are carrying heavy burdens. And maybe I can show them a little grace.
Compassion doesn’t mean weak boundaries. Showing compassion doesn’t mean I have to tolerate harmful behavior. It doesn’t mean I can’t set boundaries or stand up for others. But I can do those things more effectively when they come from a place of clarity and love rather than reactivity.
It’s okay if I don’t always get it right. There will be people and situations where, no matter how hard I try, I will struggle to show compassion. And that’s okay. I’m human. None of us are perfect. What matters is that I keep practicing.