Reclaiming You, Part 8: Finding Joy in a Life That’s Still Messy

Somewhere along the way, we were taught to be helpful. To hold everything together. To smile while we do it. And if we ever dared to want more—more rest, more space, more truth, more time for ourselves—we were told we were selfish, dramatic, or ungrateful.

This blog series was born from that quiet ache so many women carry—the feeling that something's off, even if they can’t name it. It’s for the women who check every box, show up for everyone, and still go to bed wondering, “Is this all there is?”

Last week, we explored what it means to listen to your inner voice—to get quiet enough to hear your own wisdom beneath the noise. We talked about tuning into your body, your breath, your needs, and your values. When you start doing that, something powerful happens: you begin to come home to yourself. And from that place, something else becomes possible—not a perfect life, but a life with room for joy.

This week, we’re talking about finding joy in a life that’s still messy. Not the Instagram version of joy, but real joy—the kind that can sit right alongside grief, stress, uncertainty, and overwhelm. It doesn’t require you to clean up your life first or become someone new. It just asks that you pay attention.

Finding joy in the everyday

In Untamed, Glennon Doyle writes:

 “Being fully human is not about feeling happy, it’s about feeling everything. Sad and confused and scared and angry and grateful and happy. And that’s the most beautiful thing of all. Joy is not made of ease. It’s made of full presence.”

Joy is not the end goal. It’s not something we earn once we’ve fixed everything or gotten it all right. It’s something we practice—something we notice—even in the middle of the mess. And maybe, especially in the middle of the mess.

How to Practice Joy in the Middle of the Mess

You don’t need a perfect life to feel joy—you just need to be here for your real one. These small practices can help you notice and nurture joy, even when life feels overwhelming or chaotic.

1. Create small rituals of joy

Joy often lives in the little things. A quiet morning coffee, a favorite song on repeat, five minutes of sunlight on your face. Pick one tiny ritual and do it daily this week—something that feels good just for you. Let it be sacred.

Here are a few more ideas of some daily habits that can help incorporate more joy into everyday life:

• Dance While You Clean – Put on your favorite upbeat playlist while doing chores and let loose with a few spontaneous dance moves.

• The Daily High-Five – Start or end the day with a high-five to yourself in the mirror or with your partner/kids—cheesy? Maybe. Mood-lifting? Definitely.

• Mini Celebration Moment – Celebrate something small each day (you folded the laundry? showed up for yourself?)—clap, cheer, or do a happy dance.

• Family Giggle Break – Set a timer once a day for a 2-minute silly session: make funny faces, tell the worst joke you can think of, or have a laugh-off.

• Dress Up for No Reason – Wear something that makes you feel joyful, playful, or cozy—even if you’re staying home.

• Dinner Table “Would You Rather” – Keep a little jar of fun “Would You Rather?” questions for family meals to spark connection and laughter.

• Backyard (or Living Room) Picnic – Change the scenery of an ordinary meal or snack—grab a blanket and make it a moment.

• Joy Jar – With your family, write down one happy or funny moment each day, drop it in a jar, and read them together at the end of the week.

• Themed Walks or Challenges – Go for a “silly walk,” a color hunt, or a scavenger-style stroll around the block with your kids (or on your own!).

• One Song Dance Party – Make it a tradition: one song, full volume, full body movement, no matter what kind of day you had.

What are some other ideas of fun and playful rituals you can add into your daily routine?

2. Keep a joy journal

Each day, jot down one or two things that made you smile, laugh, or feel grateful. They don’t need to be big. In fact, the smaller and more ordinary, the better. You’re training your brain to notice joy—on purpose.

3. Make space for play and creativity

Joy shows up when we stop trying to be productive every second. Dance in your kitchen, doodle with your kids, bake something messy, or play a silly game. Don’t aim for perfect—aim for fun.

4. Practice presence, not perfection

Joy lives in the now. Try taking a few deep breaths when you notice yourself spiraling into what’s next or what’s wrong. Use your senses to ground you: What do you see, hear, smell, or feel? Let yourself come back to the moment.

5. Let go of “should” and choose “want”

Joy often gets buried under obligation. This week, notice how many times you say “should” to yourself. What if you chose something you want to do instead—something that fills your cup, even just a little?

6. Follow the spark – seek joy in the moment

Joy isn’t always something you plan—it often shows up when you stay open to the little sparks around you. Let yourself be spontaneous. If something feels light, silly, or satisfying… follow it. It could be:

• Cranking up your favourite song in the car and singing like no one’s listening

• Saying yes to an impromptu dance party in the kitchen

• Smelling a flower, skipping a step, or making a snow angel just because

• Buying yourself a fancy latte or fresh flowers on an ordinary Tuesday

• Laughing out loud at a meme and sharing it with a friend who needs it too

These tiny acts are reminders that joy doesn’t have to be big or planned—it just needs to be noticed and welcomed.

7. Be okay with joy and pain coexisting

You don’t need to wait until the hard stuff is over to feel joy. It’s okay to cry and laugh in the same hour. To feel stressed and deeply grateful. Let it all belong. You’re allowed to hold both.

8. Begin with joy on purpose

Before your day begins, take a moment to visualize a joyful moment you'd love to experience—today or in the future. Picture it clearly, feel it in your body, imagine the different sensations and let it set the tone for your day. Consider recording your vision in a journal or creating a vision board filled with moments, places, and feelings that spark joy and purpose.

9. Build toward something beautiful

Joy often grows when you’re working toward something meaningful. Start a new hobby, plan a trip, or dream up a solo weekend away. Let yourself enjoy the process—the imagining, the researching, the anticipation. There’s joy in the journey too.

Reflection Corner

• What are some small things that bring you joy—even in hard seasons?

• When was the last time you felt fully present in a joyful moment? What helped you get there?

• What “shoulds” can you let go of to make space for joy?

• How might you give yourself permission to feel joy, even when everything isn’t perfect?

• What is something meaningful or exciting you could start planning or working toward that would bring you joy—not just in the outcome, but in the process?

As We Wrap Up…

This is the final post in the Reclaiming You series, but it’s not the end of your journey. You’ve taken courageous steps to question old stories, tune into your needs, set boundaries, release comparison, and listen to your inner voice. That is powerful. And you are just getting started.

Joy isn’t a destination—it’s a breadcrumb trail leading you back to yourself, again and again.

Check out the Free Resources section for a free printable reflection guide and weekly challenge checklist so you can revisit each theme whenever you need a boost or a reminder.

Come Grow with Us

If this series has resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay connected.

Join my Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance, where we talk about boundaries, burnout, asking for help, and everything in between. As a bonus for joining, you’ll get free access to my 18-page goal-setting workbook, Beyond the To-Do List! It’s designed to help you reflect, prioritize, and take action—one step at a time. You can find the workbook in the Files section.

Find more tools and free resources by exploring other sections of my website or contact me if you have any questions or want to explore 1:1 coaching if you're ready to be supported while you re-center yourself.

You deserve a life that feels like yours. And you’re already on your way to reclaiming it.