Reclaiming You, Part 2: The Power of Asking for Help (and Receiving It) — A Blog Series for Women Reclaiming Themselves

This blog series, Reclaiming You, is for the woman who is tired of feeling like she has to hold it all together while feeling like she’s falling apart inside. It’s for the ones carrying invisible loads, silencing their needs, and feeling guilty when they dare to want more.

Last week, we began the powerful (and sometimes uncomfortable) work of reclaiming our needs—naming them, honoring them, and beginning to believe that they matter. For so many of us, this is not an easy shift. It asks us to rewrite stories we’ve been told our whole lives: that good women are selfless, that strong women don’t ask for help, and that needing support is a weakness.

But here’s the truth: You were never meant to carry it all alone.

Family Time

This week, we’re exploring how asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a courageous act of reclaiming your worth and rebalancing your world. Recently, I was inspired by Untamed by Glennon Doyle, a book that speaks to the deep unlearning so many women are doing. This quote in particular has stayed with me:

“When women lose themselves, the world loses its way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world's expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done.” —Glennon Doyle, Untamed

Asking for help is not a sign that you’re failing. It’s a sign that you’re starting to trust yourself enough to say and do what must be done—including letting go of the myth that you should be doing it all.

Unlearning Internalized Misogyny

Many of us have been subtly (or not so subtly) taught that a woman’s worth is measured by how much she can manage without needing anything in return. These beliefs don’t come from nowhere—they’re woven into our families, media, school experiences, and even the way we talk to ourselves.

Here are a few examples of internalized messages we might carry:

• “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.”

• “It’s not that big of a deal. I can handle it.”

• “Asking for help makes me a burden.”

• “I shouldn’t need help with things other people manage just fine.”

The first step in unlearning these messages is noticing them.

Ask yourself:

• Where did I learn this belief?

• Is it actually true?

• What would I say to a friend who believed this?

Then, one by one, start replacing those messages with something truer and kinder.

Strategies for Asking for Help (and Receiving It)

This is where we take the unlearning and put it into action.

1. Uncover the stories you're telling yourself. Journaling, reflecting or talking with a trusted friend or coach can help you identify hidden assumptions. Try completing these sentences:

• “If I ask for help, people will think I’m ______.”

• “If I stop doing ______, then ______ will happen.”

• “I would ask for help more often if I believed ______.”

2. Start small and build confidence. Pick one small task you can delegate this week. Maybe it’s asking your partner to handle bedtime, your teen to start their own laundry, or ordering takeout instead of cooking. Starting small helps retrain your nervous system to feel safe receiving support.

3. Use simple, specific language. Here are a few short-term, one-off ways to ask for help:

• “Would you be able to pick up dinner tonight? I’m feeling tapped out.”

• “I’ve got a lot on my plate—can you take care of the dishes?”

• “Can you sit with the kids for 20 minutes while I take a break?”

4. Hold a family check-in or partner brainstorm. If you’re shouldering too much of the mental and physical load at home, a simple conversation can make a big difference—especially if you go in with clarity, curiosity, and compassion.

Start with an “I” message that names how you feel without placing blame. For example:

“I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and tired, and I realized I’ve been trying to do too much on my own. I want to find a better balance so I have more energy and patience for all of us—including myself.”

You can follow it up with:

“I’d love for us to work as a team to find a balance that works for all of us. Can we look at what’s on our plates and see where we can shift or share some of it?”

Then try this approach together:

• Step 1: List out all the regular chores, errands, and invisible tasks (like making appointments, packing lunches, keeping track of permission slips, etc.). Keep it collaborative: “What are all the things we do each week to keep the house running?”

• Step 2: Identify what feels most stressful or draining. Are there specific tasks that weigh on you more than others? Which ones could be handed off, shared, simplified, or even dropped?

• Step 3: Divvy up responsibilities in a way that works best for your family—not just based on who’s good at what, but who has the capacity. For example:

  • Your partner might take over school drop-offs a few days a week.

  • Older kids might help with laundry or packing their own lunches.

  • You might decide to switch to grocery delivery or skip vacuuming every single week.

  • Grandparents, friends or a babysitter can watch the kids one night a week so you can do something for yourself.

• Step 4: Make this a living plan. Try it for a week or two, then revisit: What’s working? What needs adjusting?

The goal isn’t perfection—it’s shared understanding. When everyone feels seen and heard, there’s more room for cooperation and less room for resentment.

5. Release control in favor of rest. This one can be the hardest: letting people help, even if they don’t do it your way. The laundry might not be folded your way. The lunchbox might be missing a veggie. That’s okay. You’re not failing—you’re growing. And you’re modeling flexibility and resilience.

6. Reframe help as connection. Asking for help is not a withdrawal from your relationships—it’s a deposit. It gives others a chance to show up for you. It builds trust. It creates space for deeper connection.

When we model healthy interdependence, we teach our kids and partners that needing one another isn’t a weakness—it’s part of being human. It’s how strong families and relationships are built. And when everyone in the home takes on some responsibility, it’s not just about easing your load—it becomes a way for everyone to feel a sense of ownership and pride in how your home and family run. Children learn confidence by doing real things that matter. Partners feel more invested when they’re included, not just asked to “help.” It becomes a shared community where everyone contributes.

Remember: Kindness Flows Both Ways

The world needs more kindness—and that includes kindness toward yourself. Kindness isn’t just giving. It’s also receiving. It’s allowing someone else to take the wheel when you’re tired. It’s trusting that your needs matter. It’s believing that asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.

When someone says, “Let me know if you need anything,” take them up on it. That’s not weakness—it’s connection. Be specific: “Can you take the kids for an hour so I can rest?” or “Would you mind dropping off dinner one night this week?” People often want to help but don’t know how. Let them in.

Sometimes, clarity comes through contrast. Take a moment to visualize your path as it is now—if nothing changes. Then imagine another version, one where you start making space for your needs, following your dreams, asking for help, and sharing the load. What does each version feel like? One might be neat, responsible, and full of checklists—but also exhausting and lonely. The other might be messy, playful, adventurous, and deeply alive. What kind of future are you ready to move toward?

Reflection Corner

Take some time this week to explore one or more of these questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation:

:

1. What’s a belief I’ve carried about asking for help that no longer serves me?

2. What’s one task I could let go of—or ask someone else to take on—this week?

3. Who in my life has offered help that I’ve hesitated to accept? Why?

4. What might shift in my home, my body, or my mind if I allowed support in?

5. What is one way I can model healthy interdependence for my family?

Come back next week as we gently unearth the roots of mom guilt—and explore how to begin letting go of it without losing the love that lives underneath.

Want more support as you reclaim space for yourself?

Join my Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance, where we talk about boundaries, burnout, asking for help, and everything in between. As a bonus for joining, you’ll get free access to my 18-page goal-setting workbook, Beyond the To-Do List! It’s designed to help you reflect, prioritize, and take action—one step at a time. You can find the workbook in the Files section.

Find more tools and free resources by exploring other sections of my website or reach out to explore 1:1 coaching if you're ready to be supported while you re-center yourself. Email me for a free discovery call right here.

You don’t have to do it all alone anymore—and you were never meant to.