Somewhere along the way, we were taught to be helpful. To hold everything together. To smile while we do it. And if we ever dared to want more—more rest, more space, more truth, more time for ourselves—we were told we were selfish, dramatic, or ungrateful. This blog series was born from that quiet ache so many women carry—the feeling that something's off, even if they can’t name it. It’s for the women who check every box, show up for everyone, and still go to bed wondering, “Is this all there is?” Last week, we explored what it means to listen to your inner voice—to get quiet enough to hear your own wisdom beneath the noise. We talked about tuning into your body, your breath, your needs, and your values. When you start doing that, something powerful happens: you begin to come home to yourself. And from that place, something else becomes possible—not a perfect life, but a life with room for joy. This week, we’re talking about finding joy in a life that’s still messy. Not the Instagram version of joy, but real joy—the kind that can sit right alongside grief, stress, uncertainty, and overwhelm. It doesn’t require you to clean up your life first or become someone new. It just asks that you pay attention. Finding joy in the everyday In Untamed , Glennon Doyle writes:   “Being fully human is not about feeling happy, it’s about feeling everything. Sad and confused and scared and angry and grateful and happy. And that’s the most beautiful thing of all. Joy is not made of ease. It’s made of full presence.” Joy is not the end goal. It’s not something we earn once we’ve fixed everything or gotten it all right. It’s something we practice —something we notice —even in the middle of the mess. And maybe, especially in the middle of the mess. How to Practice Joy in the Middle of the Mess You don’t need a perfect life to feel joy—you just need to be here  for your real one. These small practices can help you notice and nurture joy, even when life feels overwhelming or chaotic. 1. Create small rituals of joy Joy often lives in the little things. A quiet morning coffee, a favorite song on repeat, five minutes of sunlight on your face. Pick one tiny ritual and do it daily this week—something that feels good just for you. Let it be sacred. Here are a few more ideas of some daily habits that can help incorporate more joy into everyday life: Dance While You Clean  – Put on your favorite upbeat playlist while doing chores and let loose with a few spontaneous dance moves. The Daily High-Five  – Start or end the day with a high-five to yourself in the mirror or with your partner/kids—cheesy? Maybe. Mood-lifting? Definitely. Mini Celebration Moment  – Celebrate something small each day (you folded the laundry? showed up for yourself?)—clap, cheer, or do a happy dance. Family Giggle Break  – Set a timer once a day for a 2-minute silly session: make funny faces, tell the worst joke you can think of, or have a laugh-off. Dress Up for No Reason  – Wear something that makes you feel joyful, playful, or cozy—even if you’re staying home. Dinner Table “Would You Rather”  – Keep a little jar of fun “Would You Rather?” questions for family meals to spark connection and laughter. Backyard (or Living Room) Picnic  – Change the scenery of an ordinary meal or snack—grab a blanket and make it a moment. Joy Jar  – With your family, write down one happy or funny moment each day, drop it in a jar, and read them together at the end of the week. Themed Walks or Challenges  – Go for a “silly walk,” a color hunt, or a scavenger-style stroll around the block with your kids (or on your own!). One Song Dance Party  – Make it a tradition: one song, full volume, full body movement, no matter what kind of day you had. What are some other ideas of fun and playful rituals you can add into your daily routine? 2. Keep a joy journal Each day, jot down one or two things that made you smile, laugh, or feel grateful. They don’t need to be big. In fact, the smaller and more ordinary, the better. You’re training your brain to notice joy—on purpose. 3. Make space for play and creativity Joy shows up when we stop trying to be productive every second. Dance in your kitchen, doodle with your kids, bake something messy, or play a silly game. Don’t aim for perfect—aim for fun. 4. Practice presence, not perfection Joy lives in the now . Try taking a few deep breaths when you notice yourself spiraling into what’s next or what’s wrong. Use your senses to ground you: What do you see, hear, smell, or feel? Let yourself come back to the moment. 5. Let go of “should” and choose “want” Joy often gets buried under obligation. This week, notice how many times you say “should” to yourself. What if you chose something you want  to do instead—something that fills your cup, even just a little? 6. Follow the spark – seek joy in the moment Joy isn’t always something you plan—it often shows up when you stay open to the little sparks around you. Let yourself be spontaneous. If something feels light, silly, or satisfying… follow it. It could be: Cranking up your favourite song in the car and singing like no one’s listening Saying yes to an impromptu dance party in the kitchen Smelling a flower, skipping a step, or making a snow angel just because Buying yourself a fancy latte or fresh flowers on an ordinary Tuesday Laughing out loud at a meme and sharing it with a friend who needs it too These tiny acts are reminders that joy doesn’t have to be big or planned—it just needs to be noticed and welcomed. 7. Be okay with joy and pain coexisting You don’t need to wait until the hard stuff is over to feel joy. It’s okay to cry and  laugh in the same hour. To feel stressed and  deeply grateful. Let it all belong. You’re allowed to hold both. 8. Begin with joy on purpose Before your day begins, take a moment to visualize a joyful moment you'd love to experience—today or in the future. Picture it clearly, feel it in your body, imagine the different sensations and let it set the tone for your day. Consider recording your vision in a journal or creating a vision board filled with moments, places, and feelings that spark joy and purpose. 9. Build toward something beautiful Joy often grows when you’re working toward something meaningful. Start a new hobby, plan a trip, or dream up a solo weekend away. Let yourself enjoy the process—the imagining, the researching, the anticipation. There’s joy in the journey too. Reflection Corner What are some small things that bring you joy—even in hard seasons? When was the last time you felt fully present in a joyful moment? What helped you get there? What “shoulds” can you let go of to make space for joy? How might you give yourself permission to feel joy, even when everything isn’t perfect? What is something meaningful or exciting you could start planning or working toward that would bring you joy—not just in the outcome, but in the process? As We Wrap Up… This is the final post in the Reclaiming You  series, but it’s not the end of your journey. You’ve taken courageous steps to question old stories, tune into your needs, set boundaries, release comparison, and listen to your inner voice. That is powerful. And you are just getting started. Joy isn’t a destination—it’s a breadcrumb trail leading you back to yourself, again and again. Check out the Free Resources section for a free printable reflection guide  and weekly challenge checklist  so you can revisit each theme whenever you need a boost or a reminder. Come Grow with Us If this series has resonated with you, I’d love for you to stay connected. Join my Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance , where we talk about boundaries, burnout, asking for help, and everything in between. As a bonus for joining, you’ll get free access to my 18-page goal-setting workbook, Beyond the To-Do List!  It’s designed to help you reflect, prioritize, and take action—one step at a time. You can find the workbook in the Files section. Find more tools and free resources by exploring other sections of my website or contact me if you have any questions or want to explore 1:1 coaching if you're ready to be supported while you re-center yourself. You deserve a life that feels like yours. And you’re already on your way to reclaiming it.

Somewhere along the way, we were taught to be helpful. To hold everything together. To smile while we do it. And if we ever dared to want more—more rest, more space, more truth, more time for ourselves—we were told we were selfish, dramatic, or ungrateful. This blog series was born from that quiet ache so many women carry—the feeling that something's off, even if they can’t name it. It’s for the women who check every box, show up for everyone, and still go to bed wondering, “Is this all there is?” Last week, we talked about ditching comparison—not just the kind that leaves us feeling like we’re not doing enough, but also the kind that dismisses our struggles because someone else has it worse. We explored what it means to feel our feelings fully, to notice when we’re triggered, and to step into our own lives without letting someone else’s highlight reel or hardship define our worth. This week, we’re going deeper. Because what happens when we stop comparing and quiet the noise around us? What’s left when we peel back the layers of other people’s expectations? That’s where our inner voice lives—the part of us that knows what we really need, want, and feel. The part of us that we were once deeply connected to, before the world taught us to doubt it. Take some time to listen to your inner voice In Untamed , Glennon Doyle writes: “We weren’t born distrusting and fearing ourselves. That was part of our taming. We were taught to believe that who we are in our natural state is bad and dangerous. They convinced us to be afraid of ourselves. So we do not honor our own bodies, curiosity, hunger, judgment, experience, or ambition. Instead, we lock away our true selves. Women who are best at this disappearing act earn the highest praise: She is so selfless. Can you imagine? The epitome of womanhood is to lose one’s self completely. That is the end goal of every patriarchal culture. Because a very effective way to control women is to convince women to control themselves.” This week is about unlearning that fear. About slowly, gently turning the volume back up on that quiet, knowing voice inside you—the one that’s been whispering all along, “There’s more to you than this.” Learning to Listen: Practical Strategies to Reconnect With Your Inner Voice Tuning into your inner voice—your intuition—doesn’t happen overnight. For many of us, it’s been drowned out by years of expectations, comparisons, and external noise. But your inner voice is still there, quiet but steady, waiting for you to listen. Here are some ways to begin that process: 1. Follow Your Gut (and Pay Attention to What Happens) Start by noticing your body’s cues. Do a quick body scan—close your eyes, take a breath, and check in from head to toe. Where do you feel tension or ease? Where are you holding something that needs attention? Our bodies often tell us the truth before our minds catch up. As you practice, reflect on how your body reacts when something feels right—or wrong. These subtle signals are often your inner wisdom trying to speak. 2. Tune In Through Everyday Mindfulness Your inner voice often whispers when you’re not busy listening to everything else. One simple but powerful way to reconnect with it is by slowing down and being present in the small, everyday moments. Whether you’re sipping your morning coffee, going for a walk, eating lunch, washing dishes, or folding laundry—treat it as an invitation to pause and listen. You don’t need to sit cross-legged or close your eyes. Just notice. Notice the temperature of the water, the feel of your feet on the ground, the sound of your breath. Let your thoughts settle without judgment. In that stillness, your inner knowing has a chance to rise up. Choose one or more routine task each day to do with full presence. No multitasking, no rushing—just observing. Ask yourself, “What do I notice right now?”  and tune in to all your senses. 3. Make Decisions Based on Your  Values, Needs, and Desires Start small. Set a daily alarm to pause and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” —and then give it to yourself if you can. Maybe it’s a glass of water, a stretch, a deep breath, or a moment of silence. As this becomes habit, you can begin to make bigger decisions through this lens of self-awareness. Over time, your values and needs will feel clearer, and honoring them will feel less like a luxury and more like a necessity. You might feel some discomfort or guilt at first, especially if you’re used to prioritizing everyone else. But your needs matter. Getting clear on your values can be a powerful compass—your inner voice often aligns with them. 4. Practice Quieting the Noise Your inner voice thrives in stillness. Even just five minutes of quiet can shift your whole day. Try mindfulness or meditation once a day this week—set a timer, find a quiet space, and simply be . You might focus on your breath, listen to calming music, go for a walk without your phone or just sit in silence. Try it every day for a week and pay attention to how it affects your clarity, mood, and sense of connection with yourself. Turn inward instead of scrolling, reacting, or seeking outside validation. You don’t need all the answers—just enough quiet to hear yourself think. 5. Reflect Through Journaling and Creative Expression Journaling helps you slow down and check in with what’s really going on inside. It can be a powerful way to unearth what’s buried under the noise. This week, try five minutes of “flow writing”—set a timer and write without editing or judging. Let the words pour out, even if they don’t make sense. You might also try prompts like “What am I pretending not to know?” or “What is my inner voice telling me today?” You might be surprised by what surfaces. Creativity, too—drawing, painting, singing, dancing, gardening—can all help you bypass logic, tap into what your heart really knows and unlock insights that thinking alone can’t.  6. Spend Time in Nature Nature has a way of bringing us back to ourselves. Go for a walk, sit under a tree, feel the breeze or simply watch the clouds. Tune in to your senses: What do you see, hear, smell, feel? Grounding yourself in the physical world helps calm your nervous system and makes space for your inner voice to be heard. Even five minutes outdoors can make a difference, stripping away the busyness and reconnecting us with something deeper. These quiet moments can often help us hear the whispers of our intuition more clearly. 7. Limit Technology and Reclaim Your Attention If you constantly have voices in your ears or content in your hands, there’s no room for your  voice. Consider stepping back from technology this week—especially social media. These platforms are designed to fill our minds with others’ voices and opinions, making it harder to hear our own. Try a social media detox, even just for a few days, and notice what shifts. Or try setting aside certain hours where your phone goes away and screens stay off. Use the extra time to rest, reflect, reconnect with yourself offline or do something nourishing. As you become more intentional with your time, your inner wisdom will have space to surface. 8. Listen to the Rhythm of Your Heart Sometimes your inner voice speaks not in words, but in sensation—in the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, in the warmth of love flowing through your body. When you're feeling overwhelmed or uncertain, take a moment to place your hand over your heart and simply feel its beat, like a steady drum calling you home to yourself. Breathe slowly. With each inhale, imagine self-love filling every corner of your body, even the hidden crevices that feel neglected or unsure. With each exhale, let that love expand outward—filling the room, the space around you, and beyond. This simple practice is a reminder: you are grounded, you are worthy, and you are already whole. Your heart holds wisdom. You just have to tune in and listen. 9. Ask Yourself: Is This True and Beautiful? In Untamed , Glennon Doyle writes about a powerful practice—asking whether something is “true and beautiful.” This week, try focusing on a different area of your life each day—your work, relationships, routines, beliefs, home, goals, or even your inner dialogue. Jot down your thoughts and feelings on what is true and beautiful and what is not. Revisit these notes in the coming weeks to see what’s shifted. If something doesn’t feel true or beautiful, be curious about why—and have the courage to reimagine or release it. It’s not about being reckless—it’s about being real. Sometimes listening to your inner voice means burning down what’s not serving you and building something new from the ashes. Reflection Corner Take some time this week to explore one or more of these questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation: What does my inner voice sound like? When was the last time I really listened to it? Where in my life am I ignoring my own needs to keep others comfortable? What practices help me feel grounded and connected to myself? What do you notice when you pause and listen to your heart? What emotions or messages come up? What parts of my life feel “true and beautiful”? What parts do not? What emotion have I been avoiding lately? What might it be trying to tell me? Up Next Week: Finding Joy in a Life That’s Still Messy Listening to your inner voice is a radical act of self-trust. But what comes next? Next week, we’ll talk about finding joy—not when everything’s perfect, but right here, in the middle of the mess. Because joy isn’t a reward for having it all figured out. It’s something you can claim now, even in the in-between. Ready to Go Deeper? If you're feeling that pull to reconnect with yourself, you're not alone—and you don't have to navigate it alone either. Join us in the Busy Women Finding Balance  community, where we talk about real-life strategies for tuning out the noise and tuning back into you. You can also explore this website further for more free resources, personalized coaching, reflection tools, and support as you rewrite your story—one true, beautiful step at a time.

Somewhere along the way, we were taught to be helpful. To hold everything together. To smile while we do it. And if we ever dared to want more—more rest, more space, more truth, more time for ourselves—we were told we were selfish, dramatic, or ungrateful. This blog series was born from that quiet ache so many women carry—the feeling that something's off, even if they can’t name it. It’s for the women who check every box, show up for everyone, and still go to bed wondering, “Is this all there is?” Last week, we talked about boundaries—how they protect your energy, preserve your peace, and honor your worth. But even with boundaries in place, it’s hard to feel grounded when you're constantly measuring yourself against someone else’s highlight reel. We live in a world that subtly (and not-so-subtly) teaches women to compare—our bodies, our homes, our parenting, our productivity. It’s exhausting. And worse, it pulls us further from ourselves. This week, we’re peeling back another layer in this journey of coming home to who you are. Because comparison is more than a thief of joy—it’s a distortion of truth. It keeps us striving to meet standards we never chose, while silencing the voice that already knows we’re enough. In the book, Untamed  by Glennon Doyle, she writes: “It’s okay to feel all of the stuff you’re feeling. You’re just becoming human again. You’re not doing life wrong; you’re doing it right. If there’s any secret you’re missing, it’s that doing it right is just really hard. Feeling all your feelings is hard, but that’s what they’re for. Feelings are for feeling. All of them. Even the hard ones. The secret is that you’re doing it right, and that doing it right hurts sometimes.” “I thought I was supposed to feel happy. I thought that happy was for feeling and that pain was for fixing and numbing and deflecting and hiding and ignoring. I thought that when life got hard, it was because I had gone wrong somewhere. I thought that pain was weakness and that I was supposed to suck it up.” “Pain is not tragic. Pain is magic. Suffering is tragic. Suffering is what happens when we avoid pain and consequently miss our becoming. That is what I can and must avoid: missing my own evolution because I am too afraid to surrender to the process. Having such little faith in myself that I numb or hide or consume my way out of my fiery feelings again and again. So my goal is to stop abandoning myself—and stay. To trust that I’m strong enough to handle the pain that is necessary to the process of becoming. Because what scares me a hell of a lot more than pain is living my entire life and missing my becoming. What scares me more than feeling it all is missing it all.” This quote reminds me that comparison doesn’t just steal our joy—it robs us of our becoming . When we believe we’re only “doing it right” if we’re constantly happy, successful, or polished, we end up abandoning ourselves the moment life gets messy. But feeling it all—the good, the painful, the vulnerable—is what makes us real. And real is where growth lives. This week, we’ll explore how to notice when comparison shows up, how to challenge the stories it tells, and how to write new ones rooted in truth and self-compassion. . It’s time to stop chasing someone else’s story—and start rewriting your own. Strategies for Ditching Comparison Comparison can sneak in quietly, but it has a powerful grip. Whether we’re scrolling social media, catching up with a friend, or overhearing another mom at pickup, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring our lives against someone else’s. But comparison doesn’t just mean wishing we had someone else’s highlight reel. It also means minimizing our pain because someone else seems to be struggling more. There will always be people who have it easier, and people who have it harder—but their story isn’t yours.  Here are five steps to ditch comparison and start shifting the focus from others back to yourself.  1. Notice and Name It One of the most powerful tools we have when it comes to comparison is simply awareness . When those comparison thoughts creep in—“She’s so much more organized,” “Why can’t I keep it together like they do?”—pause and notice them without judgment. Instead of trying to push the thoughts away or pretending they’re not there, name them. “Ah, I’m comparing again.” “This is a moment of self-doubt.” “I’m feeling like I’m not enough.” By naming the thought or emotion, you create space between you and the feeling. It becomes something you’re experiencing, not something that defines  you. This small pause allows you to respond with compassion instead of criticism. You might say to yourself, “Of course I’m feeling this way—this is hard,” or “This thought isn’t the whole truth.” You can take it a step further by identifying what’s underneath the comparison. Are you feeling insecure, tired, unappreciated, or overwhelmed? What do you need in this moment—reassurance, rest, connection, or a break from input? Naming both the thought and the emotion behind it helps you move through it instead of getting stuck in it. 2. Shift the Lens It’s important to remember that what we see or hear from others—whether online or in real life—is just a snapshot, not the whole picture. We rarely see the struggles, doubts, or messy moments behind the scenes, but for sure they are there. Social media, in particular, tends to highlight the best parts of people’s lives, not the full story. When we compare ourselves to those carefully curated moments, we’re not making a fair comparison—we’re holding ourselves up against a filtered version of reality. Instead of looking at what others have that you don’t, focus on how far you’ve come. Keep a reclaiming or gratitude journal with a list of ways you are growing and/or things you are grateful for—small or big, they count. Example: “I used to dread speaking up at meetings. Last week, I shared an idea confidently.” 3. Reconnect to Your Own Values What matters to you? Not to your neighbor, your sister, or the internet. You. Example: If being present with your kids is one of your values, remind yourself that it matters more than a perfectly clean kitchen. When you’re clear on what really matters to you, it becomes easier to step away from comparison. Your values can guide your choices, your priorities, and your sense of identity—even when the world tries to pull you in a different direction. But even more importantly, you are worthy not because of what you do or how well you do it, but simply because you are human. You matter just as you are. You don’t have to earn your worth through productivity, perfection, or people-pleasing. Try gently reminding yourself: “I am enough. I am worthy of love and rest. I don’t have to prove my value—I already have it.” 4. Practice Emotional Awareness Without Overidentifying We weren’t meant to skip over the hard parts. We were meant to feel them, learn from them, and carry those lessons with us as we grow. But when we compare, we often try to rush past the pain, thinking that something is wrong with us. That we’re falling behind. That we’re not enough. The truth is—you’re not behind, you’re becoming. Feel your feelings—but don’t let them define you. Notice the physical sensations (tight jaw, clenched stomach), name the emotion, and remind yourself: This is just a moment, not a life sentence. Example: “I’m feeling jealous and unmotivated right now. That’s okay. I can sit with this, learn from this, and then I’ll take one small step forward.” 5. Create Safe Distance from Triggers Curate your space. If certain social media accounts make you feel inadequate, unfollow or mute. Set boundaries around conversations that drain you. Example: “I realized I always felt worse after chatting with that mom at soccer. Now I smile and politely move on instead of getting pulled into the comparison spiral.” Start noticing what triggers your comparison thoughts. Is it certain people, conversations, or time spent on social media? Are you more vulnerable when you’re tired, overwhelmed, or feeling uncertain? From there, you can set boundaries that protect your peace—like carving out certain times in your day or week to intentionally put your phone away and focus on you. Use that time to reconnect with yourself through meditation, journaling, reading, taking a bath, going for a walk, or engaging in a hobby that brings you joy. Small, consistent acts of self-connection can help ground you and remind you of your worth—no comparison needed. Reflection Corner Take some time this week to explore one or more of these questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation: When do I most often find myself comparing? How does comparison make me feel in my body? What is one small thing I can do to reconnect with my own values? Whose story have I been using as a yardstick for my own? What is my definition of enough? What feelings have I been avoiding, and what might they be trying to teach me? Come back next week for: Listening to Your Inner Voice Once we quiet the noise of comparison, we start to hear something else—something softer, truer, and often buried: our inner voice. That quiet inner knowing, the one you’ve been drowning out under all the noise and responsibility, begins to speak. Next week, we’ll talk about how to tune into it and trust it, even when it whispers against what the world expects. Ready to keep becoming? You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Join my free Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance , where we talk about real-life boundaries, burnout, messy joy, and what it means to live a life that actually feels good. As a bonus for joining, you’ll get free access to my 18-page goal-setting workbook, Beyond the To-Do List! It’s designed to help you reflect, prioritize, and take action—one step at a time. You can find the workbook in the Files section. You can also find free resources and more by exploring this website. And if you're ready for more personalized support, I offer 1:1 coaching for women who are ready to stop comparing, people-pleasing, and minimizing their own needs and start listening to themselves again. You can learn more on my website or reach out for a free discovery call right here . Remember, you’re not behind. You’re becoming.

Somewhere along the way, we were taught to be helpful. To hold everything together. To smile while we do it. And if we ever dared to want more—more rest, more space, more truth, more time for ourselves—we were told we were selfish, dramatic, or ungrateful. This blog series was born from that quiet ache so many women carry—the feeling that something's off, even if they can’t name it. It’s for the women who check every box, show up for everyone, and still go to bed wondering, “Is this all there is?” Last week, we peeled back the layers of the mental load—the invisible weight so many women carry as they quietly manage the needs, plans, and emotions of an entire household. We talked about how it’s not just the doing  that exhausts us, but the constant thinking , tracking , and anticipating . It’s no wonder we’re tired. This week, we’re diving into something that often feels even harder: boundaries . Boundaries help you find balance Not the kind you say with a smile and then quietly backtrack on or the rigid, shut-the-world-out kind. The kind that stick while still being kind and compassionate. The kind that say, “I matter too.” The kind that protect your time, your energy, your peace, your truth. But here’s the thing about boundaries—they often come with a side of guilt. We’re so used to being the helper, the fixer, the yes-sayer, that saying “no” or “not right now” can feel like we’re letting someone down. That’s why this quote by Glennon Doyle hits so hard: “Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.” Let that sink in. Because we’re not here to lose ourselves. We’re here to come home to ourselves—and boundaries are one of the bravest ways we do that. Why Boundaries Matter You matter. You are worthy. You have value, and you are deserving of care, respect, and rest—not after  you’ve done everything for everyone else, but because  you’re human. Setting boundaries is how we teach others to treat us—and how we remind ourselves that our needs are valid. You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. That’s not cold—it’s clarity. You can love others deeply while still recognizing that you can’t sacrifice yourself to keep everyone else comfortable. Boundaries are a way of showing kindness and respect—to yourself and  to others. They let the people in your life know where you end and they begin. They’re not about controlling others—they’re about being clear on what you  are okay with and what you’re not. When we don’t set boundaries, we don’t just overextend ourselves—we often end up feeling resentful, exhausted, or invisible. And despite what we may have been taught, people don’t value or appreciate us more when we constantly bend to their needs. More often, they simply come to expect it. You matter. Your needs matter. And protecting your peace isn’t selfish—it’s essential. 5 Strategies for Setting Boundaries  1. Start With Self-Awareness You can’t set a boundary if you don’t know what you need. Often, we only recognize a missing boundary once we feel resentment, exhaustion, or overwhelm. These feelings are signals—not flaws. Pause and ask yourself: What do I feel? What do I need? Where am I saying “yes” when I mean “no”? Examples: “I’m feeling stretched thin, and I need to build more space into my day.” “I didn’t notice how drained I felt until recently. I’m going to start paying attention to what energizes me and what depletes me.” “Something’s off. I feel like I’m doing everything for everyone, and I need to reclaim some time and space for myself. What’s one thing I can delegate, let go of, or say no to this week?” Awareness is the first step toward change. You’re not selfish for noticing your limits—you’re wise. 2. Practice Small No’s First If the word “no” feels uncomfortable, start with low-stakes situations. Boundaries are like muscles—they get stronger with use. And small no’s help build the confidence to hold the bigger ones. Examples: “I won’t be able to bake for the fundraiser, but I hope it goes really well!” “I can’t chat right now, but I’ll check in later when I have more bandwidth.” “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m going to pass this time.” You don’t have to start with the hardest conversations. Saying no in small ways reminds you that you’re allowed to take up space. 3. Communicate Clearly and Kindly Boundaries don’t have to be confrontational. In fact, they work best when they’re rooted in calm clarity. Speak from your experience and keep the focus on what you  need—not what someone else is doing wrong. Examples: “I feel overwhelmed when plans change last minute. Can we agree to confirm things the night before?” “I’d love to help, but I can’t give it the time it deserves right now.” “This topic feels too heavy for me right now. Let’s come back to it another time.” Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re bridges to better relationships. Clear communication makes it easier for people to meet you with respect. 4. Keep It Simple You don’t need to explain your boundaries in detail or justify every decision. A short, calm “no” is enough. When you keep your words simple and firm, your message is easier to hear—and harder to argue with. Examples: “That doesn’t work for me right now.” “I’m not available this weekend.” “I need some space, but I care about you.” You don’t owe anyone a full explanation. Protecting your peace is reason enough. 5. Create a Plan for Common Triggers If the same situations keep draining you, plan ahead. Anticipating your needs makes it easier to hold your boundaries in the moment—especially when emotions run high. Examples: “Evenings are usually hectic for me, so let’s schedule a time to talk during the day.” “I‘m feeling overwhelmed with decision fatigue. Can you do the meal planning this week?” “We’ve had a lot of last-minute chaos lately. Can we work together to update the weekly schedule so everyone knows what’s going on?” Planning ahead doesn’t make you rigid—it gives you breathing room. You deserve systems that support your wellbeing. Final Thought Think of it this way: if someone came into your home and broke things, tracked mud through your kitchen, or shouted insults at you—would you invite them back? Your heart and your mind are your inner home. You get to choose who comes in, how long they stay, and how they treat the space. If someone continues to disrespect it, it’s okay—even necessary—to close the door. Reflection Corner Take some time this week to explore one or more of these questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation: Where in your life are you stretching past your limits in order to avoid disappointing others? What’s one small boundary you could set this week that would honor your time, energy, or emotional well-being? How would your relationships shift if you started protecting your peace like it mattered? What messages did you receive growing up about being “a good woman” or “a good mom”? How might those messages be shaping your boundaries now? Are there any boundaries you’ve tried to set before but found hard to maintain? What made it difficult? What would it look like to disappoint someone else a little  in order to stop disappointing yourself a lot ? What are some of your common triggers and what could you say to set or uphold a boundary to honour your own needs? A Personal Note This has been a big area of growth for me lately. Boundaries used to feel scary—like I was being selfish or cold. But the more I’ve leaned into them, the more I’ve seen how they create space for real  connection, not just performance or people-pleasing. I’ve also written more about boundaries here: Setting Boundaries While Validating Emotions (A Guide for Parents) Communication Strategies for Real-Life Conflict Up Next Week: Ditching Comparison and Rewriting Your Story Next week, we’ll talk about something so many of us struggle with— comparison . From social media highlight reels to the pressure to “do it all,” it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short. But you weren’t meant to live someone else’s story. You were meant to live yours . We’ll explore how to let go of comparisons and start rewriting your story with self-trust, compassion, and clarity. Need More Support? Setting and maintaining boundaries can be challenging. If you’re looking for more support, encouragement, or connection with women who get it, you’re invited to: Join my private Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance . It’s a space where we talk about boundaries, mental load, mom guilt, and all the messy, beautiful things we’re unlearning together. You’ll also find my free Beyond the To-Do List  goal-setting workbook in the files section of the group. Explore more reflections and resources throughout this website .   Cl ick here  to email me to connect, ask a question or inquire about my coaching services. You don’t have to do it all—or do it alone. Let’s walk this together.

Somewhere along the way, we were taught to be helpful. To hold everything together. To smile while we do it. And if we ever dared to want more—more rest, more space, more truth, more time for ourselves—we were told we were selfish, dramatic, or ungrateful. This blog series was born from that quiet ache so many women carry—the feeling that something's off, even if they can’t name it. It’s for the women who check every box, show up for everyone, and still go to bed wondering, “Is this all there is?” Last week, we talked about mom guilt—the invisible weight that makes us feel like we’re failing even when we’re doing our best. We explored where it comes from and how to start letting go of the unrealistic expectations that fuel it. This week, we’re digging into another heavy layer many women carry without even realizing it: the mental load . The constant to-do lists running in our heads. The planning, remembering, anticipating, managing… even when no one else sees it. It's not just exhausting—it’s invisible labor that often goes unacknowledged. Let’s name it. Let’s talk about it. And let’s find ways to share the load. "Being a mother is not about slowly dying for your children, it's about showing them how to live bravely. It's not about becoming less, it's about becoming more."  —Glennon Doyle, Untamed Take time to rest your body and your mind. What is the The Mental Load? You wake up tired. You go to bed tired. But if someone asked what you did  today, you might not have a “productive” answer. Because much of what you carry doesn’t show up on a calendar or to-do list. You remembered the birthday. You refilled the allergy meds. You signed the field trip form, emailed the teacher, picked up the gift, and planned dinner around three picky eaters and a food allergy. You made it all look  effortless. This is the mental load. It’s not just doing things—it’s remembering things, tracking things, anticipating needs, smoothing over rough edges before anyone else notices. And more often than not, it falls on women. We carry it because we care. But caring doesn’t mean carrying everything alone. Let’s Name a Few Parts of the Mental Load: Scheduling appointments (for everyone) - doctor, dentist, vet, therapy, hair cuts, etc. Keeping track of groceries, lunches, and what’s rotting in the fridge Knowing where the “good scissors” are at all times Managing birthdays, holidays, social events, RSVPs Mentally prepping for meltdowns, sleep regression, or homework struggles Constantly deciding what to make for dinner... again And there is so much more You don’t need to do it all. You don’t need to hold it all in your head. And you are allowed to drop  some of it. Practical Ways to Lighten the Mental Load Knowing about the mental load is step one. But changing  it? That takes intention, conversation, and a little letting go. Here are some realistic, doable ways to start releasing what you're holding: 1. Make the Invisible Visible Try a brain dump of everything swirling in your mind. Not just to-do's, but all the mental tabs open. Try saying: "I’ve been carrying a lot mentally that doesn’t always show. I want us to look at it together so we can figure out a better way to share it." Let your partner or family see the full picture—this opens the door to real collaboration. 2. Delegate with Ownership, Not Just Tasks Instead of: “Can you help with lunches?” Try: “Can you be in charge of lunches this week? It doesn’t have to be my way—it just needs to happen.” When someone fully owns a task, it stops living in your brain. One way to reduce the ongoing mental energy is to minimize the number of decisions you have to make each day. Routines aren’t boring—they’re freeing. Creating a weekly or monthly meal plan you rotate through, a shared grocery list, or a chore chart that runs on a predictable rhythm can help take the guesswork out of daily life. When everyone knows what’s expected and when, there are fewer last-minute scrambles—and you don’t have to carry it all in your head. This kind of structure also helps family members take more ownership, since they can see what needs to be done and jump in without needing reminders. 3. Use “When/Then” Language with Kids This cuts down reminders and builds independence. Example: "When your bag is packed, then we’ll start our story time.""When your laundry is in the basket, then I’ll start the load." Let natural consequences do some of the work for you. 4. Set Up a Shared System Create a simple command center or weekly whiteboard that shows: Family schedule Dinner plans To-do’s This gets the info out of your head and into a shared space. Bonus: fewer repeat questions from the kids. 5. If All Else Fails, Let Some Things Go—On Purpose Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the list is still too long. And in those moments, it's okay—necessary, even—to choose what can be skipped. Maybe it’s the laundry that waits another day or two. Maybe it’s ordering takeout or saying no to a volunteer request. Letting go of something doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re being intentional. And here’s a reminder from last week that bears repeating: You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.  Letting go also means resisting the urge to rescue others from natural consequences. If your child forgets their homework, it’s okay not to rush it to school. If your partner forgets to buy a gift for his mom, it’s okay to let him handle it. Yes, support is part of a loving family, and there are times we all step in for each other—but not so often that it becomes expected or taken for granted. This works best when expectations are clearly communicated ahead of time. You might say, “I’ll help you post it on the calendar so you remember,” or “I can remind you this week, but moving forward, I need you to take ownership of this.” It’s not about refusing to help—it’s about shifting the responsibility so you’re not the only one keeping track of everything. 6. Try a Shared App for Schedules & Tasks If you're tech-comfortable, apps like Cozi , Todoist , or even shared Google Docs/Calendars can help shift the mental work to shared work. Strategy 7: Make Space to Unload Your Mind Sometimes the best way to lighten the load is to put it down for a minute.  Even just five quiet minutes a day to rest your mind can make a difference. Try a short meditation, a few deep breaths in the car before heading inside, or a brain dump in your journal—no structure, just spill it out. Let your thoughts have somewhere to land besides your mental to-do list. It’s not selfish. It’s not wasted time. It’s how you recharge the part of you that keeps everything going. Reflection Corner Take some time this week to explore one or more of these questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation: What am I mentally holding today? Does this need to be mine? Can it be shared? Can it wait? Can it go? Can I simplify it, lessen it, or turn it into a routine? Small shifts add up. You’re not failing—you’re just doing too much. And it’s okay to step back. Coming Next Week: Boundaries that Stick (Even When It’s Hard) You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to need space. Next week, we’ll talk about setting boundaries in a way that feels firm and  kind. If this topic resonated with you and you’re craving more support, encouragement, and connection with women who get it, you’re invited to: Join my Facebook group: Busy Women Finding Balance  - A supportive space for women reclaiming time, energy, and joy Explore more free resources at   www.growingheartsandminds.com Click here  to email me to ask about my coaching services or request my free workbook: Beyond the To-Do List , a goal-setting guide to help you move forward with clarity and intention You are not alone. You deserve to feel valued and supported.

This blog series, Reclaiming You, is for the woman who is tired of feeling like she has to hold it all together while feeling like she’s falling apart inside. It’s for the ones carrying invisible loads, silencing their needs, and feeling guilty when they dare to want more. “Mothers have martyred themselves in their children’s names since the beginning of time. We have lived as if she who disappears the most, loves the most... If we keep passing down the legacy of martyrdom to our daughters, with whom does it end?”   —Glennon Doyle, Untamed Just breathe Last week, we explored the power of asking for help—and how doing so can be both liberating and deeply connective. But for many of us, the moment we ask for help (or even think about taking something off our plate), a familiar feeling creeps in.  This week, we’re diving into one of the heaviest weights many women carry: mom guilt—and how we can begin to unlearn it. You know the voice.  “I should be able to handle this.”   “I’m not doing enough.”   “They’ll remember I wasn’t there.”   “Other moms seem to manage just fine…” We’ve been conditioned to see motherhood as a performance of self-sacrifice. Somewhere along the way, we were sold the idea that good mothers always put themselves last. That being stretched thin and worn down is a sign of devotion. That guilt is just part of the job. But here's the truth: mom guilt serves no meaningful purpose . It doesn’t make us better moms. It doesn’t deepen our love. What it does  do is activate our nervous systems, keeping us stuck in cycles of stress, anxiety, and even burnout. Chronic guilt can trigger a fight-or-flight response that makes it harder to stay present, regulate emotions, or enjoy the very moments we’re trying so hard to perfect. So let’s talk about how we begin to unlearn it. 6 Strategies for Unlearning Mom Guilt 1. Get curious about the guilt When guilt shows up, pause and ask: Where is this coming from? Whose expectations am I trying to meet? Is this truly my value—or someone else’s voice in my head? Guilt often masks fear: fear of judgment, failure, or not being “enough.” Naming it starts to loosen its grip. 2. Replace guilt with compassion When you notice that guilty thought creeping in, try a reframe: Instead of: “I shouldn’t have snapped at them—I’m a terrible mom,”  try: “I had a hard moment. I’m human, and I’ll repair it with love.” Instead of: “I missed the field trip—I should’ve done more,”  try: “I can’t do it all, but I show up for my kids in many important ways.” Talk to yourself like someone you deeply love. 3. Remember: modeling joy is a gift When you care for yourself, say no, pursue a dream, or rest—you’re not taking something from your kids. You’re showing them what a healthy adult looks like. They don’t need a mom who never rests. They need a mom who’s alive, whole, and emotionally safe. That starts with you giving yourself permission to be a person. 4. Letting go without letting down It’s important to recognize how much the expectations on moms have grown over the years. We’re not just raising children—we’re expected to do it all with a smile, a clean house, Pinterest-worthy birthday parties, organic meals, and a thriving career. Social media amplifies the pressure, while internal narratives whisper that we’re never quite enough. But here’s the truth: children don’t need perfection—they need presence and connection. They don’t need constant stimulation or a never-ending stream of activities. Some boredom, some struggle, even a bit of disappointment? That’s not just okay—it’s healthy. It builds resilience, independence, and problem-solving skills. What they do need is the security of knowing we’re there when it counts: to listen, to comfort, and to remind them they are loved, especially in hard moments. Releasing yourself from the pressure to meet every need instantly or perfectly is not a failure—it’s a gift. A gift to yourself and your kids. 5. Connect instead of compare Social media can make guilt worse by giving us a highlight reel of everyone else’s parenting. If you find yourself spiraling, step back. Choose connection over comparison—talk to a friend, join a supportive community, or reach out to someone who’s willing to be real with you. 6. Give yourself the grace to be good enough . You don’t need to be perfect. Your kids don’t need perfection. They need presence. Safety. A mom who makes mistakes and keeps showing up. Let “good enough” be your new gold standard. Let joy count. Let rest count. Let love—not guilt—be what guides your parenting. Reflection Corner Take some time this week to explore one or more of these questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation: When does mom guilt show up most often for you? What triggers it? Whose approval do you find yourself chasing, even unconsciously? What would it look like to parent from a place of love instead of guilt? How do you want your children to remember their childhood—and your presence in it? Next week, we’ll take a deeper look at the Mental Load—why you’re so tired (even when you “did nothing”). If this topic resonated with you and you’re craving more support, encouragement, and connection with women who get it, you’re invited to: Join my Facebook group: Busy Women Finding Balance  - A supportive space for women reclaiming time, energy, and joy Explore this website for more free resources including the 8 Week Challenge Checklist and all the reflection questions to go along with this blog series Click here  to email me to ask about my coaching services or request my free workbook: Beyond the To-Do List , a goal-setting guide to help you move forward with clarity and intention You are not alone. And you’re already doing better than you think.

This blog series, Reclaiming You , is for the woman who is tired of feeling like she has to hold it all together while feeling like she’s falling apart inside. It’s for the ones carrying invisible loads, silencing their needs, and feeling guilty when they dare to want more. Last week, we began the powerful (and sometimes uncomfortable) work of reclaiming our needs—naming them, honoring them, and beginning to believe that they matter. For so many of us, this is not an easy shift. It asks us to rewrite stories we’ve been told our whole lives: that good women are selfless, that strong women don’t ask for help, and that needing support is a weakness. But here’s the truth: You were never meant to carry it all alone. Family Time This week, we’re exploring how asking for help isn’t a weakness—it’s a courageous act of reclaiming your worth and rebalancing your world. Recently, I was inspired by Untamed  by Glennon Doyle, a book that speaks to the deep unlearning so many women are doing. This quote in particular has stayed with me: “When women lose themselves, the world loses its way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world's expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done.”  —Glennon Doyle, Untamed Asking for help is not a sign that you’re failing. It’s a sign that you’re starting to trust yourself enough to say and do what must be done—including letting go of the myth that you should be doing it all. Unlearning Internalized Misogyny Many of us have been subtly (or not so subtly) taught that a woman’s worth is measured by how much she can manage without needing anything in return. These beliefs don’t come from nowhere—they’re woven into our families, media, school experiences, and even the way we talk to ourselves. Here are a few examples of internalized messages we might carry: “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.” “It’s not that big of a deal. I can handle it.” “Asking for help makes me a burden.” “I shouldn’t need help with things other people manage just fine.” The first step in unlearning these messages is noticing them. Ask yourself: Where did I learn this belief? Is it actually true? What would I say to a friend who believed this? Then, one by one, start replacing those messages with something truer and kinder. Strategies for Asking for Help (and Receiving It) This is where we take the unlearning and put it into action. 1. Uncover the stories you're telling yourself. Journaling, reflecting or talking with a trusted friend or coach can help you identify hidden assumptions. Try completing these sentences: “If I ask for help, people will think I’m ______.” “If I stop doing ______, then ______ will happen.” “I would ask for help more often if I believed ______.” 2. Start small and build confidence. Pick one small task you can delegate this week. Maybe it’s asking your partner to handle bedtime, your teen to start their own laundry, or ordering takeout instead of cooking. Starting small helps retrain your nervous system to feel safe receiving support. 3. Use simple, specific language.  Here are a few short-term, one-off ways to ask for help: “Would you be able to pick up dinner tonight? I’m feeling tapped out.” “I’ve got a lot on my plate—can you take care of the dishes?” “Can you sit with the kids for 20 minutes while I take a break?” 4. Hold a family check-in or partner brainstorm. If you’re shouldering too much of the mental and physical load at home, a simple conversation can make a big difference—especially if you go in with clarity, curiosity, and compassion. Start with an “I” message that names how you feel without placing blame. For example: “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and tired, and I realized I’ve been trying to do too much on my own. I want to find a better balance so I have more energy and patience for all of us—including myself.” You can follow it up with: “I’d love for us to work as a team to find a balance that works for all of us . Can we look at what’s on our plates and see where we can shift or share some of it?” Then try this approach together: Step 1: List out all the regular chores, errands, and invisible tasks (like making appointments, packing lunches, keeping track of permission slips, etc.). Keep it collaborative: “What are all the things we do each week to keep the house running?” Step 2: Identify what feels most stressful or draining. Are there specific tasks that weigh on you more than others? Which ones could be handed off, shared, simplified, or even dropped? Step 3: Divvy up responsibilities in a way that works best for your family—not just based on who’s good at what, but who has the capacity. For example: Your partner might take over school drop-offs a few days a week. Older kids might help with laundry or packing their own lunches. You might decide to switch to grocery delivery or skip vacuuming every single week. Grandparents, friends or a babysitter can watch the kids one night a week so you can do something for yourself. Step 4: Make this a living plan. Try it for a week or two, then revisit: What’s working? What needs adjusting? The goal isn’t perfection—it’s shared understanding. When everyone feels seen and heard, there’s more room for cooperation and less room for resentment. 5. Release control in favor of rest. This one can be the hardest: letting people help, even if they don’t do it your way . The laundry might not be folded your way. The lunchbox might be missing a veggie. That’s okay. You’re not failing—you’re growing. And you’re modeling flexibility and resilience. 6. Reframe help as connection. Asking for help is not a withdrawal from your relationships—it’s a deposit. It gives others a chance to show up for you. It builds trust. It creates space for deeper connection. When we model healthy interdependence, we teach our kids and partners that needing one another isn’t a weakness—it’s part of being human. It’s how strong families and relationships are built. And when everyone in the home takes on some responsibility, it’s not just about easing your load—it becomes a way for everyone to feel a sense of ownership and pride in how your home and family run. Children learn confidence by doing real things that matter. Partners feel more invested when they’re included, not just asked to “help.” It becomes a shared community where everyone contributes. Remember: Kindness Flows Both Ways The world needs more kindness—and that includes kindness toward yourself . Kindness isn’t just giving. It’s also receiving. It’s allowing someone else to take the wheel when you’re tired. It’s trusting that your needs matter. It’s believing that asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. When someone says, “Let me know if you need anything,” take them up on it. That’s not weakness—it’s connection. Be specific: “Can you take the kids for an hour so I can rest?” or “Would you mind dropping off dinner one night this week?” People often want  to help but don’t know how. Let them in. Sometimes, clarity comes through contrast. Take a moment to visualize your path as it is now—if nothing changes. Then imagine another version, one where you start making space for your needs, following your dreams, asking for help, and sharing the load. What does each version feel like? One might be neat, responsible, and full of checklists—but also exhausting and lonely. The other might be messy, playful, adventurous, and deeply alive. What kind of future are you ready to move toward? Reflection Corner Take some time this week to explore one or more of these questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation: : What’s a belief I’ve carried about asking for help that no longer serves me? What’s one task I could let go of—or ask someone else to take on—this week? Who in my life has offered help that I’ve hesitated to accept? Why? What might shift in my home, my body, or my mind if I allowed support in? What is one way I can model healthy interdependence for my family? Come back next week  as we gently unearth the roots of mom guilt —and explore how to begin letting go of it without losing the love that lives underneath. Want more support as you reclaim space for yourself? Join my Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance , where we talk about boundaries, burnout, asking for help, and everything in between. As a bonus for joining, you’ll get free access to my 18-page goal-setting workbook, Beyond the To-Do List!  It’s designed to help you reflect, prioritize, and take action—one step at a time. You can find the workbook in the Files section. Find more tools and free resources by exploring other sections of my website or reach out to explore 1:1 coaching if you're ready to be supported while you re-center yourself. Email me for a free discovery call right here . You don’t have to do it all alone anymore—and you were never meant to.

Recently, I read the book Untamed  by Glennon Doyle and was deeply moved and inspired by it. But more than anything, it gave me permission to listen to my own voice—the one buried under the noise, the guilt, the mental load. This blog series is my way of peeling back those layers. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being real —and coming back to life in the process. There’s a quiet unraveling that happens to so many women. We become who we were told to be—helpful, capable, responsible, selfless—and somewhere along the way, we start to forget who we actually are. This blog series, Reclaiming You , is for the woman who is tired of feeling like she has to hold it all together while feeling like she’s falling apart inside. It’s for the ones carrying invisible loads, silencing their needs, and feeling guilty when they dare to want more. Reclaim time for yourself Each week, we’ll explore a part of this untaming, this unlearning—so you can come back home to yourself. Here’s what’s coming: Part 1: You Are Not Just the Helper: Reclaiming Your Needs Part 2: The Power of Asking for Help (and Receiving It) Part 3: The Truth About Mom Guilt Part 4: The Mental Load – Why You’re So Tired (Even When You “Did Nothing”) Part 5: Boundaries that Stick (Even When It’s Hard) Part 6: Ditching Comparison and Rewriting Your Story Part 7: Listening to Your Inner Voice Part 8: Finding Joy in a Life That’s Still Messy “When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible,  she becomes free to learn how to please herself.” ― Glennon Doyle, Untamed You Are Not Just the Helper: Reclaiming Your Needs Let’s start with the truth we’ve been taught to ignore: You are not just here to support everyone else. You are not just the helper, the carpool driver, the snack packer, the emotional sponge, the behind-the-scenes glue holding the whole thing together. You are a human being with needs —not just a role with responsibilities. But claiming your needs in a world that rewards selflessness (especially in women) is not easy. In fact, it can feel downright rebellious. Maybe you’ve told yourself: “It’s not a big deal.” “They need me more than I need rest.” “I can’t ask for help. It’s just easier to do it myself.” “I don’t have the time or the energy to take care of myself.” Sound familiar? You’re not alone. We’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how much we give. That our value is measured by how little we ask for in return. But here’s the truth: Your needs matter. Even when they’re inconvenient. Even when no one else sees them. Even when you’ve spent years pretending they didn’t exist. This part of the series is an invitation to begin the slow, powerful process of unlearning . To notice where you’ve been silencing your needs. To question the invisible rules you’ve been living by. And to consider what it would feel like to matter—to yourself. So how do we start unlearning this? Sometimes the path forward starts with small steps; other times, it’s a giant leap of faith.  Maybe you want to start with small shifts that send your nervous system, your brain, and your inner critic a new message. Start small. One question. One pause. One honest answer: What do I need right now? If no one were watching or depending on me, what would I choose today? What parts of myself have I been pushing aside? I matter too. How can I show up for myself? Or maybe the quiet ache you’ve been feeling is pointing to something bigger. Maybe it’s time to explore a move, end a relationship, change careers, or have that courageous conversation you’ve been avoiding. Don’t rush it. Give yourself space to think it through, visualize possibilities, and create a plan. Life will have its ups and downs either way, but you’re allowed to choose what’s best for you—even if it’s messy, even if you need to self-correct along the way. Don’t let fear stop you. Excitement and fear often feel the same in your body. And don’t let what others might think hold you back—this is your life. You’re allowed to try, to fail, to learn, and to grow. More often than not, what we regret are the things we didn’t do. Strategies for Reclaiming Your Needs 1. Practice “micro-check-ins.” Set a reminder on your phone 1–2 times a day with the question: What do I need right now? It might be water, movement, silence, connection, or a few deep breaths. The goal isn’t to fix or fulfill the need every time—it’s just to start noticing it. 2. Reframe guilt as growth. Guilt is often a sign you’re doing something new, not something wrong. Instead of letting it stop you, try saying "This guilt means I’m stretching old beliefs. I’m learning to show up for myself." 3. Say one true thing out loud. Pick a safe person to talk to, write in your journal or even speak out loud to yourself in the mirror and name a truth you usually hide. Something like:  “I’m tired of always being the one who keeps it together.” “I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore outside of being a mom/teacher/partner.” “I crave quiet, but I’m scared of what I’ll hear in the silence.”  There’s power in naming what’s real. That’s how change begins. 4. Give yourself permission slips.   Literally write this down: “I give myself permission to rest.” “I give myself permission to say no.” “I give myself permission to not have it all together today.” Keep them where you’ll see them. Stick post-it notes around your house. Read them like affirmations. They help rewire the old scripts. 5. Start with low-stakes “no’s.” If a bold boundary feels too big, try saying no to something small: skipping a call, delaying a text response, not volunteering for one more thing. Every time you honor your capacity, you make space for your needs. 6. Carve out one hour (or more) this week—just for you. This doesn’t have to be fancy or dramatic. Just one hour where you intentionally shift out  of obligation and into  nourishment. Start by skipping or outsourcing one thing on your to-do list: Ask your partner to make dinner one night. Have groceries delivered instead of shopping in person. Let the dusting wait (really, it can). Ask your older kids to help with lunches, laundry, or vacuuming. Or, if it’s easier, try waking up one hour earlier one day this week—and use that time for you , not to catch up on chores. Do something that fills you: Go for a walk. Sit in a coffee shop with a book. Take a bath with a glass of wine and no agenda. Call or meet up with a friend. Engage in a hobby you enjoy…or take up one that interests you. Then ask yourself: How can I make this a weekly habit?  Not because you earned  it—but because you deserve  it. 7. Envision the bigger change. Sometimes, your next right step is more than just a shift in mindset—it’s a shift in your life. Set aside time to explore what change might be calling to you. Journal about it. Visualize your ideal day. Imagine different paths and how each one might feel. You don’t need to have it all figured out. Just allow yourself to consider: What if?  Trust that even bold changes can begin with quiet courage. Reclaiming your needs doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you whole. And when you live from that wholeness, everyone around you benefits too. Come back next week as we explore the power of asking for help—and how receiving support can be one of the most courageous things you do. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Reflection Corner Find a quiet moment today and throughout the week to explore one (or all) of the following questions. You can write your thoughts in a journal, discuss them with a close friend or reflect on them during meditation: Name a need you’ve been ignoring. What’s one small way you could honor it this week? What is one change—big or small—that’s been quietly tugging at your heart? What would it look like to explore it without pressure or fear, just gentle curiosity? Finish this sentence: “If I didn’t feel guilty, I would…” Think back to a time when you felt fully yourself . What was present then that’s missing now? What’s one small thing I could take off  my plate this week—and how can I ask for help with it? What would a “me hour” look like if it were completely guilt-free? What would I do, and how would I feel afterward? This isn’t about fixing everything overnight. It’s about remembering that you  are part of the equation—and you’re allowed to take up space. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Want more support as you reclaim space for yourself? You don’t have to figure it all out alone. Join my free Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance , where we talk about real-life boundaries, burnout, messy joy, and what it means to live a life that actually feels good. As a bonus for joining, you’ll get free access to my 18-page goal-setting workbook, Beyond the To-Do List! It’s designed to help you reflect, prioritize, and take action—one step at a time. You can find the workbook in the Files section. You can also explore other parts of my website and find free resources (including a list of the reflection questions from all 8 weeks) and more. And if you're ready for more personalized support, I offer 1:1 coaching for women who are ready to stop people-pleasing and start listening to themselves again. Click here to email me for a free discovery call or to request Reclaiming You: An 8 Week Checklist for a list of actions to help you r eflect, reconnect with yourself, and reclaim your joy as you follow along with this 8 part blog series. You're not just the helper. You’re allowed to take up space. Let’s start making that real—together.

As parents, we want our children to feel heard, loved, and supported. At the same time, we also need to set clear boundaries to create structure, maintain our own well-being, and help them develop important life skills. Finding the balance between validating emotions and setting firm boundaries can feel challenging, but it’s absolutely possible—and incredibly beneficial for both you and your child.  A mother setting a boundary with her child using positive parenting techniques. Why Both Matter Validating emotions  teaches children that their feelings are real, normal, and worthy of acknowledgment. When kids feel understood, they are more likely to develop emotional intelligence and healthy coping strategies. Setting boundaries  provides children with a sense of safety, structure, and self-regulation. Boundaries teach them that while all emotions are okay, not all behaviors are. This helps them develop resilience and respect for others. Balancing validation with firm boundaries isn’t about being “too strict” or “too soft.” It’s about teaching emotional resilience while providing structure. When children feel heard and understood, they are more willing to cooperate, problem-solve, and grow into emotionally healthy adults. How to Validate Feelings While Setting Limits 1. Don’t Take It Personally When children are dysregulated, their emotions can feel big, overwhelming, and even directed at you. But one of the most important things to remember is: it’s not personal .  Their developing brains struggle to handle frustration, disappointment, and other strong feelings, and their reactions are often a reflection of that struggle—not a deliberate attempt to upset you.  When a child is dysregulated, they are in survival mode and cannot process logic or solve problems. Keep your tone calm and use short, clear phrases like "I see you're upset. I’m here to help.” Avoid lecturing or reasoning in the heat of the moment. The goal is to co-regulate first and discuss later. Why it works:  When you remain calm, you help your child feel safe. Short, simple language keeps communication clear and prevents overwhelming them further. 2. Acknowledge Feelings First Before jumping into rules or corrections, start by recognizing what your child is experiencing. “I can see you’re really frustrated right now.” “It’s okay to feel disappointed when things don’t go as planned.” “You seem really upset. Do you want to talk about it?” Why it works: When children feel heard, they are more likely to calm down and be open to solutions. 3. Set Clear, Firm Boundaries Once emotions are acknowledged, hold firm on the limit you’ve set. “I know you’re upset that playtime is over, but it’s time for bed.” “It’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to hit.” “I understand you want more screen time, but we agreed on 30 minutes.” Why it works:  Kids learn that while their feelings are always accepted, their actions have limits. 4. Offer Choices and Alternatives Instead of simply saying “no,” guide your child toward acceptable options. “I see that you’re frustrated. Do you want to take deep breaths together or have a quiet moment?” “You’re mad that we’re leaving the park. Do you want to walk to the car or skip to the car?” "I know you want to keep playing, but how about we pick out a fun bedtime story together?" Why it works: Giving choices helps children feel in control while still respecting the boundary. 5. Stay Consistent (With Compassion) Boundaries are only effective if they are consistent—but they can still be enforced with kindness. If a rule is broken, calmly remind them of the boundary: “I know you’re mad, but hitting is not okay. Let’s take a break and try again.” If they push back, repeat the boundary while showing empathy: “I know you’re disappointed, and it’s okay to be sad. But we still need to follow the rule.” Why it works: Consistency builds trust—your child learns that even when emotions run high, the boundaries remain the same. 6. Model Emotional Regulation Children learn how to handle emotions by watching how we respond to our own. Show them how to express feelings constructively: “I had a hard day too, so I’m going to go for a walk to clear my mind.” Instead of snapping when they throw a tantrum, take a deep breath and say, “I’m feeling frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a moment to calm down before we talk.” When setting boundaries, do your best to keep your tone and body language calm. If you feel yourself getting too overwhelmed, PAUSE  (see next section). You could say: "I want to handle this the right way, so I’m going to sit (or step away) for a minute and then we’ll talk." Then "Thanks for giving me a minute. Now I’m ready to listen and help us find a solution." Why it works:  Your child will start to mirror your ability to self-regulate and learn that emotions can be handled with patience and intention rather than outbursts or avoidance. 7. If Necessary, PAUSE Between the moment of stress and your reaction, there’s an opportunity to PAUSE. This intentional pause helps you respond calmly and thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. Here’s what PAUSE stands for: Presence:  Breathe deeply and focus on the space between your thoughts and your awareness of those thoughts. Acceptance:  Embrace what cannot be changed, practice self-compassion, and approach your child with curiosity rather than judgment. Unmet Needs: Ask yourself what you need in this moment. Do you need rest, nourishment, love, or stronger boundaries? What might your child need? Safety:  Remind yourself that you are safe in the present moment. Engage in Tension Release: Choose a stress-reducing activity like physical movement, laughter, or singing to help your body release cortisol and increase calming hormones like oxytocin. Why it works:   Modeling this not only helps you set clear and respectful boundaries, but it also teaches your child that it’s okay to take time to manage emotions before responding. 8. Debrief After Emotional Moments Children need to know that their efforts to regulate their emotions are noticed and valued. When you see them practicing self-regulation—whether it’s taking a deep breath, walking away from conflict, or using words instead of actions—acknowledge it with gentle, specific praise : "I saw you take a breath instead of yelling. That was a great choice!" "You were really mad, but you didn’t hit. I’m proud of you for using your words instead." "You calmed down all by yourself! That took a lot of control." After the emotional storm has passed and your child is regulated, take a moment to reflect together. Keep it short and solution-focused: "What helped you calm down?" "Next time, what do you think could help even more?" "What can I do to support you when you're upset?" This isn’t a time for lectures or punishment. It’s about helping your child build awareness of their emotions and empowering them with strategies to use in the future. Why it works:  Specific praise reinforces positive behavior, making it more likely to happen again. Debriefing when calm helps children reflect and grow without feeling shame or pressure. 9. Goal-Setting as a Learning Process Setting boundaries while validating emotions is a skill—one that takes time, practice, and patience. Just like children are learning to regulate their emotions, you are learning, too. It’s normal to have moments where you lose your patience or second-guess your approach. Instead of expecting perfection, focus on small, achievable steps in your parenting journey. Rather than trying to overhaul everything at once, choose one specific goal to work on. Maybe it’s staying calm when your child is upset, using a set phrase to reinforce a boundary, or remembering to take a breath before responding. Small, intentional changes add up over time. Write your goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere you’ll see it often—on the fridge, bathroom mirror, or even your phone’s lock screen. A simple cue like "Pause before reacting"  or "Stay calm, keep it short"  can help reinforce your intention in the moment. At the end of the day, take a moment to check in with yourself. "How did I do today? What felt good? What was hard?"  If you struggled, remind yourself that growth isn’t linear. Every effort counts, and tomorrow is another chance to practice. You won’t get it right every time—and that’s okay. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and no one handles it perfectly. When you have a tough moment, talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend: "This is hard, and I’m doing my best."  Learning from mistakes is part of the process, not a sign of failure. Why it works:  Focusing on small, realistic goals makes change feel manageable. Visible reminders keep you on track, and daily reflection—without judgment—builds self-awareness. Self-compassion allows you to grow without guilt, creating a more peaceful and sustainable approach to parenting. Final Takeaway Parenting with patience, empathy, and firm boundaries isn’t easy—it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. Some days, you’ll handle things exactly the way you hoped. Other days, you’ll lose your cool, say something you regret, or feel like you’re failing. That’s part of being human. But like any skill, setting boundaries while staying calm gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes. And on the days when it doesn’t go as planned? Give yourself grace. Self-compassion isn’t just something to model for your kids—it’s something you deserve, too. Take a deep breath, repair when needed, and remind yourself that growth is about progress, not perfection. Looking for more support on your parenting journey? You're not alone! If you're ready to set healthy boundaries while staying connected with your child, let's connect: Join my new Facebook group, Busy Women Finding Balance  for support, tips, and encouragement from other women navigating the challenge of balancing parenting and other areas of their lives. Need personalized guidance?   Click here  to reach out—I’d love to support you as you support your family!

For years, my relationship wasn’t where I wanted it to be. We had tried to improve it—marriage counseling, deep conversations, periods of progress—but we always seemed to fall back into the same patterns. I wanted more connection, more depth, and more ease between us. But nothing seemed to stick. Eventually, I stopped focusing on changing my husband and decided to work on myself.  The Inner Work I started reading books, listening to podcasts, meditating, and journaling. I worked on self-love, self-awareness, and self-acceptance—things that I had never realized were missing. Once I got it , it felt like a huge internal shift, one that impacted every  area of my life. I shared parts of my journey with my husband. Sometimes, he’d join me for a guided meditation, and we’d talk about our thoughts and feelings. He supported me in my personal growth, but I was still looking for a deeper connection between us. I found myself feeling stuck, frustrated, and unsure of what else to do - until I realized something that changed everything: Transforming my relationship wasn’t about changing my husband. It was about changing myself and the way I interacted with him. Attachment Styles: The Key to Understanding Our Patterns One of the biggest breakthroughs came when I learned about attachment styles while listening to The Diary of a CEO  podcast episode featuring Esther Perel: The 3 Attachment Styles & Why You’re Struggling With Love ! Attachment styles, formed in childhood, shape how we connect with others, especially in romantic relationships. Understanding your own and your partner’s attachment style can help you navigate conflicts and emotional needs with more clarity. My husband and I were stuck in a common dynamic: I leaned toward anxious attachment —seeking reassurance, wanting deep conversations, and feeling hurt when I sensed emotional distance. He leaned toward avoidant attachment —valuing independence, withdrawing when overwhelmed, and feeling suffocated when I pushed for connection. It was like a figure-eight pattern: the more I sought closeness, the more he pulled away, and the more he withdrew, the more anxious I became. Understanding this made me realize that I had the power to change our dynamic—not by changing him, but by changing how I responded to him. There is a third attachment style - one that I wanted us to work towards: Secure Attachment  – Feels comfortable with closeness and independence, able to communicate needs and resolve conflicts effectively. Shifting the Cycle: How I Changed My Reactions I made a conscious decision to stop trying to change my husband and instead focus on what I could control; what I did and how I did it and what I said and how I said it. This wasn’t about settling or accepting a relationship that didn’t serve me - it was about taking ownership of my own  happiness as well as what I contributed to our marriage. Here’s how I started responding differently: Instead of seeking constant reassurance, I worked on self-soothing and reminding myself that I am safe and loved, even when my husband wasn’t emotionally available in the way I wanted at that moment. Instead of assuming distance meant he didn’t care, I gave him space without resentment, trusting that our connection was still there, even if he needed time to himself. Instead of pushing for deep conversations at the wrong moments, I learned to approach him when he was receptive, making connection feel more natural and less pressured. Instead of waiting until things felt overwhelming and emotions ran high, I made an effort to connect on a daily basis in smaller, more meaningful ways. Instead of expecting connection on my timeline, I started asking if he wanted to play a board game or go for a walk or if we could plan some time together, which helped him feel more comfortable and gave me more opportunities for genuine connection. For avoidantly attached partners like my husband, pressure often makes them withdraw further. When I created a space that felt safe and non-demanding, he was more willing to engage and connect in his own way. The Coaching Mindset: How I Applied What I Learned to My Own Life One of the biggest lessons from my coaching training was the power of setting goals, maintaining consistency, and putting strategies in place to increase motivation and accountability. I realized that if I wanted real change, I needed to apply these same principles to how I approached my relationship. I started by journaling about what I wanted our relationship to look like - not just in vague terms, but in daily actions and feelings. Once I had clarity, I asked my husband to sit down with me for a conversation about our relationship. I asked him to write down his thoughts ahead of time, reflecting on: Our strengths as a couple Areas where we could improve What we each brought to the relationship What we could each work on individually I emphasized that honesty was key - that I wanted the truth, not just what he thought I wanted to hear. Together, we created a vision for our relationship and started making small, steady changes. The Daily Work of Love I knew that setting goals together was a great first step, but it wouldn’t be enough on its own. My husband hadn’t suddenly “changed,” and I couldn’t expect overnight transformation. It would take consistent effort on my part to keep him engaged in the process in a way that felt natural rather than forced. I had to find the right balance - giving him space without letting our progress fade, and fostering connection without making him feel pressured or overwhelmed. As I worked to improve my relationship, I also reflected on several other key insights from Esther Perel that helped shape my approach. She talked about how relationships need both rituals (things that create comfort, warmth, and friendship) and novelty (new experiences, activities, and conversations that bring excitement and aliveness). Too much routine can make a relationship feel stagnant, while too much unpredictability can make it feel unstable. The key is balance. She helped me realize that love is not just a feeling - it’s a verb. It requires effort, creativity, vulnerability, and accountability. We put so much time, effort and creativity into our jobs and other areas of our lives (kids, friends, household chores) but often take our marriages or romantic relationships for granted. Instead of asking, "What are we fighting about?"  Perel suggests asking, "What are we fighting for?"  That shift in perspective changed the way I approached conflict. I stopped seeing disagreements as things to "win" or "lose" and started seeing them as opportunities to better understand each other. Making our relationship better hasn’t been about grand gestures or overnight transformations. It’s been about the small, intentional actions that build trust, connection, and appreciation. When we are in the car together or going for a walk, I ask him deeper questions. Nothing too serious but something to help me learn more about him, perhaps something about his childhood, events at work or plans for the future. We created simple communication strategies: If I feel criticized, I ask him to pause, remind himself that he loves me, and rephrase what he’s saying from a place of love. If he feels I’m getting overly emotional, he asks me to pause and remind myself that he loves me and is here with me. If either of us needs space, we ask for a break and set a time to come back to the conversation. One of the smallest but most impactful changes was inspired by Mel Robbins’ husband: I randomly touch my husband - on the hand, arm, or shoulder - and just look into his eyes for 10-20 seconds. It’s such a simple act, but it creates an instant connection and reminds us that we are in this together.   Moving Forward, Together We are still a work in progress, but now I feel empowered and we both have the tools to communicate with love and respect. We set relationship goals and meet weekly to check in. My goals:  Continue to manage my emotions Truly listen when my husband shares about work, without jumping in to fix things Focus on my own growth, knowing that whatever happens, I am strong, whole, and capable on my own His goals:  Spend less time alone in his office Initiate more connection and quality time together We will always have different styles and perspectives, but as we continue to learn from each other, we’re building a deeper understanding and a stronger sense of security in our relationship. Practical Steps to Improve Your Relationships  If you feel like you and your partner aren’t on the same page or seem to be arguing about the same things over and over again, here are some things that may help: 1. Focus on What You Can Control You can’t change your partner, but you can change how you show up in the relationship. This includes how you communicate, regulate your emotions, and set boundaries. 2. Shift Your Communication Style Instead of:  “You never listen to me.” Try:  “I feel unheard sometimes, and I really want to feel more connected to you.” Instead of:  “You always shut down when I try to talk.” Try:  “I know talking about emotions isn’t easy for you, and I appreciate you making the effort.” These small shifts remove blame and create a safer space for conversation. 3. Understand Your Needs and Express Them Clearly If you have an anxious attachment, practice self-soothing rather than seeking constant reassurance. If you’re avoidant, work on leaning into emotional connection instead of shutting down. 4. Regulate Your Emotions Before Conversations If you get emotional during discussions, pause and ground yourself first. Take a breath, journal your thoughts, or go for a walk before engaging in a tough conversation. 5. Set Boundaries with Love Boundaries aren’t ultimatums - they are acts of self-respect. If you feel like your needs aren’t being met, express them with clarity and kindness. Instead of:  “I’m done trying to connect with you if you don’t make an effort.” Try:  “I love our relationship, and I’d really appreciate it if we could set aside some intentional time together.” 6. Let Go of the Need to Control the Outcome A strong relationship is built on choice, not pressure. When I stopped trying to force my husband to change and instead focused on becoming the best version of myself, things started shifting naturally. My confidence grew, my self-worth strengthened, and my relationship improved as a result. When you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, your partner will either naturally be drawn to that energy - or you’ll have the clarity to recognize what is and isn’t working. 7. Find Support Outside of Your Partner Whether it’s through friends, journaling, personal coaching, or books and podcasts, expanding your emotional support system can help relieve pressure in your relationship. For more practical tips on communicating effectively check out my Free Resource - Effective Communication Strategies: Attachment Styles & Crucial Conversations . Final Thoughts If you’re feeling stuck in your relationship, start with yourself. You don’t have to wait for your partner to change or agree to couples counseling. Small, intentional shifts in your own approach can create huge ripples. Understand your attachment style and how it plays into your relationship. Understand your partner’s attachment style and don’t take their differences personally. Focus on what you can control—your words, actions, and emotional responses. Balance connection with independence, safety with excitement. Communicate with love and curiosity instead of blame and frustration. And most importantly, never underestimate the power of self-growth in transforming a relationship. If you’re feeling stuck in your own relationship, I encourage you to start with yourself. Your journey matters. Let’s find your path forward—together. Click here  to connect with me for additional support.

For nearly 20 years, I dabbled in meditation with mixed success. At first, I thought the goal was to clear my mind—something I quickly realized I was terrible at. Then, I discovered different techniques: focusing on my breath, a mantra, sounds around me, or even sending loving-kindness thoughts. These methods helped me feel a little more relaxed when stressed or a bit more energized when tired, but I was still searching for something deeper. That’s when I found guided meditation. Having someone gently lead my focus made it easier to stay present, and I started noticing a slightly bigger impact on my overall well-being. Then, in January 2024, I joined a 28-day meditation challenge on the Insight Timer  app. The first seven days were led by Sarah Blondin , and that was the moment everything changed.  Learning to Truly Love Myself Through Sarah’s guidance, I connected with my heart in a way I never had before. I didn’t just learn to appreciate or accept myself—I learned to truly love myself. You know that giddy feeling of being newly in love? I now feel that every day. Whenever I intentionally connect with my heart, I experience this warm, deep, unconditional love—for myself and for life. Meditation also helped me: Set goals and take action to improve my life. Accept myself, others, and situations I cannot change. Manage my anxiety in ways I never thought possible. Since then, I’ve explored many other meditation guides. Some resonate with me, some don’t—but I always come back to Sarah. Her voice, pace, tone, and messages feel like they were meant for me. She speaks not just to my soul, but to both the darkness and light within me. Discovering the Power of Sensitivity Sarah Blondin’s book, Heart Minded: How to Hold Yourself and Others in Love ,  deepened my journey even further. One of the biggest lessons I learned was about sensitivity—something I had consistently struggled with. I’ve always been deeply emotional. I cry easily—not just when I’m sad, but when I feel any strong emotion. Books, movies, TV shows, Terry Fox Day, Remembrance Day, seeing someone else cry, even speaking about my mom (who passed away over 10 years ago)—all bring tears to my eyes. Every student I have ever taught has seen me cry. Often strong emotions will stay with me for days, or sometimes even longer. For years, I thought this was a weakness. I would tell myself to “toughen up” or “grow thicker skin.” But Sarah taught me that my sensitivity is my greatest gift. It means I care deeply. It means I love deeply. She taught me that vulnerability is not weakness—it’s strength. That I don’t need to protect my heart because it is resilient. That by opening my heart, I invite love, opportunities, joy, awe, and freedom from fear. How Meditation Has Changed My Life Meditation has become a daily practice for me. Sometimes I listen to guided meditations; other times, I meditate in silence. No matter the method, it helps me start my day feeling grounded and positive. I’ve also use meditation to: Sleep better—especially on restless nights. Find guidance—I search for meditations on topics I’m struggling with or want to focus on (setting boundaries, emotional regulation, gratitude). Deepen my marriage—My husband sometimes joins me, and we’ve had incredible conversations sparked by what we’ve learned. Manage chronic pain—While it doesn’t make the pain disappear, meditation diminishes it. Dig deeper - The thoughts and feelings that arise during meditation often spark new ideas, insights, and realizations, which I explore further through journaling—usually right afterward. This practice helps me process emotions, gain clarity, and take meaningful action in my life. Be present throughout my day—Not just when meditating, but in everyday moments—observing my thoughts, feelings, and surroundings with awareness. Deal with stress - Meditation is my most powerful form of self-care that helps me calm my mind and body and create a sense of inner peace. Meditation has transformed my life in ways I never expected. It has helped me connect with my heart, embrace my sensitivity as a strength, manage my anxiety, and deepen my relationships. (Thank you Sarah!) If you’re curious about meditation and its benefits, I encourage you to explore it for yourself. For more on the science-backed benefits of meditation, check out this article from Healthline:   How Meditation Benefits Your Mind and Body . There are so many different ways to meditate.   If you’re interested in starting your own meditation journey, I’d love to help you find a practice that fits your life. Click here  to connect with me.

Classroom management is one of the most important foundations for creating a structured, positive, and engaging learning environment. A well-managed classroom helps students feel safe, supported, and ready to learn while also making your job as an educator more enjoyable and effective. At the start of each school year (and throughout the year as needed), I dedicate time and intentional effort to explicitly teaching expectations, routines, and essential skills that help create a respectful and productive classroom community. Here are five key strategies that have worked wonders for me over the years. 1. Teach and Reinforce Learning Skills Many classroom challenges arise when students struggle with foundational learning skills, such as: ✔️ Attentive listening ✔️ Staying on task ✔️ Participating by asking and answering questions ✔️ Working collaboratively as a team To help students succeed, I: Co-create success criteria with students about what each skill looks like, sounds like, and feels like. We record this on chart paper or a Google Slide for easy reference. Assign low-stakes tasks that require these skills so students can practice in a structured way before applying them in academic activities. Assess both the task and the learning skill being demonstrated. This way, students understand that how they approach their work is just as important as the final product. Use a coloured clipboard to track observations. Over time, students associated the clipboard with self-regulation and accountability, which helped reinforce expectations. Debrief at the end of the lesson or activity to discuss how students used the learning skill to help complete the task and what they could work on improving next time. 💡 Pro Tip:  The first step in learning a new skill is awareness. Even if students adjust their behavior just because they see you observing, that’s still progress! 2. Explicitly Teach Conflict Resolution Skills Disruptions in (and out of) class often stem from conflicts between students, so I dedicate time to teaching them practical tools to handle disagreements independently and respectfully. Some strategies I teach include: 🔹 Ignore and walk away 🔹 Share and take turns 🔹 Negotiate a deal (e.g., “You can go first this time if I go first next time.”) 🔹 Use an “I” message (e.g., “I feel frustrated when you take my things without asking.”) 🔹 Ask a clarifying question (e.g., “Are you trying to hurt my feelings?”) 🔹 Tell a joke to lighten the mood 🔹 Pause and take three deep breaths 🔹 Ask a teacher for help—but only after trying another strategy first To help reinforce these skills, we role-play different scenarios and I take photos of students demonstrating each strategy. Then, I create a Conflict Resolution Poster featuring these images, which serves as a visual reminder throughout the year. 💡 Classroom Tip:  When students approach me with a conflict, I ask, "Which strategy have you tried?" before stepping in. If they haven't tried one yet, I direct them to the poster to choose a solution before involving me. 3. Establish Routines and Expectations from Day One Classroom routines and expectations should be taught just like any academic lesson. I break it down into a clear process: ✔️ Co-create success criteria for the routine or expectation (What it looks like and sounds like) ✔️ Have a couple of students demonstrate what to do ✔️ Have a couple of students demonstrate what NOT to do (This is a fun way to keep students engaged!) ✔️ Have the whole class practice the routine ✔️ Reinforce with praise and reminders At the beginning of the year (and again after long breaks), I intentionally practice and revisit routines to ensure that students truly internalize them. If expectations slip, I re-teach, model, and practice until they get back on track. I also keep this very light and try to add in some humour or turn it into a game by timing them. This should not feel like a punishment. If they do it well, I give them a mighty “yeah!”. If it needs improvement, I give them feedback and we practice a second time. If it still needs improvement then I let them know that we will practice again later in the day or the next day, at which time we will first review the criteria and some students will demonstrate what to do and what not to do before we practice as a whole class.  Example Routines: Entering the classroom → Greet the teacher → Unpack and start morning work Lining up for recess → Walk quietly → Hands to self → Face forward 💡 Teacher Tip: Taking time to explicitly teach and reinforce routines pays off exponentially by minimizing disruptions and saving instructional time throughout the year. 4. Build Strong Relationships with Every Student Students thrive in classrooms where they feel seen, valued, and connected. I make it a priority to build relationships through: Greeting Students Daily – At the door, I let students choose how they want to greet me (handshake, high-five, fist bump, elbow bump, or hug). Fun Routines – Whenever all students are present or we have something to celebrate, we do a “Happy Dance” while singing “Oh yeah” (twice slow and three times fast!). Community Circles – Regular sharing time fosters trust, connection, and empathy among classmates. I make sure to remember key details students share and bring them up later. Share About Yourself – Let students get to know you, too! Share appropriate stories about your interests, challenges you’ve overcome, or even your favorite books and hobbies. Incorporate Student Interests – Whether it’s using sports analogies, referencing a popular game, or incorporating their favorite characters into lessons, showing interest in what they love makes a big impact. Be Playful and Laugh Together – Humor (appropriate for the classroom!) creates a positive atmosphere. Laugh at your mistakes, use (or misuse) some of their lingo, tell jokes, or let students teach you  a TikTok dance. 💡 Class Tip - The more connected students feel to their teacher and peers, the more invested they are in classroom success. 5. Use Positive Reinforcement & Proactive Strategies One of the most effective ways to encourage positive behavior is to recognize and reinforce it. Instead of focusing on what students are doing wrong, I focus on what they’re doing right by using: Reward Systems – I use simple, non-material rewards like classroom privileges (e.g., leading an activity, choosing a game, or sitting in a special spot). Praise Specific Behaviors – Instead of saying, “Good job,” I say, "I appreciate how you raised your hand and waited patiently to share your idea!", “Thank you for working quietly while I was dealing with a situation.” or “I love how you kept trying even when that problem was tricky.” Class Goals & Celebrations – If the class meets a weekly or monthly goal, we celebrate with a fun group activity. Private Acknowledgment – A quick note on a sticky note, a quiet “I noticed how you helped your classmate—thank you,” or a short chat after class can make students feel truly valued. Peer Recognition – Encourage students to recognize each other’s positive behavior. Create a “Shout-Out Board” where they can write notes of appreciation or take a moment during closing circle to share compliments. 💡 Proactive Classroom Tip: The more I focus on recognizing positive behavior, the more students are motivated to keep making great choices. By celebrating their efforts, I help create a classroom culture of encouragement, accountability, and success. Final Thoughts: Lay the Groundwork for a Smooth Year All of these classroom management strategies take time and consistency at the start of the year, but they are an investment in a positive, structured, and supportive classroom environment. By explicitly teaching and reinforcing learning skills, conflict resolution, routines, relationships, and positive reinforcement, you can create a classroom where students feel safe, respected, and motivated to learn—and where you can focus more on teaching and less on behavior management. If you’re looking for more support with classroom management, stress management, work-life balance, or just need guidance from someone who’s been there, I’d love to help! Click here  to connect with me and explore how we can work together.